Ants In My Pants...???
I know it's been a while.. but I experienced a strange fluttering sensation inside my knickers yesterday. A feeling quite alien to me for the past three years. I used to get that fluttering sensation on a regular basis, yet now I just get a dull murmuring every now and then, usually during a semi clothed Zac Efron movie.. or whilst downing a baked cheesecake.
The fluttering bacame more of a rather enjoyable tickle.. until it bacame quite overpowering, building into a bit of an uncomfortable crescendo.. and I could take no more! Something had to be done to quench this fluttering feeling I was experiencing within the deep dark depths of my underwear.
Down came the Bridgets.. and out.. flew.. a bloody great wasp!
Well.. I wouldn't say it flew exactly, it just sort of staggered out with a bemused look on it's face, looking like it had been on the razz all night with a troupe of blonde cheerleaders with plenty of cash to spend, and plenty of teenage stamina to exhaust!
I suddenly felt used and unappreciated, covering my lady parts with an embarrassed cack-handedness usually reserved for the morning after a semi memorable night before.. with a guy that used to work down the chip shop. A short lived romance based on free cod and chips and a side order of pickled eggs.
This wasp had been to a place that had not been visited for quite some time, and boy did it leave it's mark.. a bloody enormous sting right on my left bum cheek! Charming! Some roses and an 'I'll call you later' would have been nice!
