Welcome to the jungle!

I have a confession to make.. I have let myself go over the last couple of years. Not just in the fact that my waistline now resembles a pile of tyres at Kwik-Fit, or that my hair is usually bedraggled looking and less straight than it used to be, with spirals of hair pointing in all directions.. but I have let myself go in the ultimate way.. I haven't shaved my legs, or anything else for that matter, for 6 months!

SHOCK! HORROR! GASP!

I am a disgrace to womanhood, and resembling a character out of The Jungle Book.

I look at the razor every now and then, the blades still sharp and shiny, but I bypass it and head for my Ann Summers penis soap on a rope instead.

There could be anything hiding in the jungle of my unwanted hair.. a family of Borrowers, nestled in for the winter.. the leftover Milky Bar buttons that seemed to disappear.. or the shed key that was lost three months ago!

Anyone remotely interested in visiting my shagpile vagina may as well bring their ride on lawnmower with them to cut through the excess growth! They would also need to get the edge trimmer out and do a bit of landscaping! Sometimes I think it may just be easier to do a bit of crazy paving instead. Much lower maintenance.

I know I should just bite the bullet and pick up that darned razor and just go for it.. but to be honest.. I really can't afford to pay for a plumber to come and unclog the drains!